Internet Dating or All I Want Is Someone Who “likes to walk on the beach”.

I have read literally 10’s of thousands of personals ads. I have bought books on how to write letters in response to ads, and met dozens of women. Here are some observations.

First, just like Vegas’ high end nightclubs, women are the main attraction. That is why women are free and men must pay. Fair enough, but it sure seems discriminatory to me.

Second, women love to walk on the beach, even if they live in Montana. They also love to travel, even if they never have!

Lastly, if you are 30 years older than they are, they might not write back!

I am convinced Internet Dating is our last bastion of optimism. When we look at an attractive photo, and hear anything compatible we think only the best. Never mind the reality. Since it is the women who get the bulk of responses one can only imagine the junk they must receive. On the other hand I got an email today from Europe from an absolutely gorgeous woman. She got on her webcam and was forced to admit the picture was from 7 years and 25 lbs ago!!!

Here is my suggestion for Men. Get off those sites completely. You take up too much space anyway. Since you will probably ignore that, here is some good advice.

If you start exchanging emails with a woman, mention you are friends with Jimmy Choo or Manolo Louboutin. If she recognizes these as the names of shoes, run as she will bankrupt you. Trust me I seem to be attracted to these women, I know. Did I mention you should love to walk on the beach?

Here is my suggestion for Women. Nothing you write will make much difference to men. We already know you want to walk on the beach. You want romance. You like to shop and love to travel. We already know that. Your picture is 80% of the deal. You want to get to the stage of IM chatting or exchanging emails. Most sites will let people lift your photo. You can test this by trying edit/copy/paste on a pic and then pasting it into a word doc. I suggest you put in small text the name of the site in the picture. So if it appears elsewhere it is obviously stolen. I have friends whose photos keep ending up on Craigslist. So put Yahoo or whatever in small print at the bottom.

Before you ever give out your phone number consider the following.

You are on the site because you are seeking better. So…

1. Don’t respond to someone who is not a paid member. You are worth it.

2. Ask for his real name. Put it into a search engine such as Google. If nothing comes up, pass. After all, virtually every professional pops up eventually. You actually have to work hard to be that invisible these days, and certainly you want someone more professional than most. If you strike out on Google search, ask him to send you a scanned copy of his business card. Sure it can be faked, but you will already have demonstrated you are probably smarter than he is.

3. Have a female friend answer his ad and see what happens. You of course can just open another account, but that would be lying and we don’t do that!

4. If the guy lives so far away, one of you will have to fly, let it be him. To fly to him, you have to give out your real name, and then what will you do once you get there? Think it through. It is not a race…go slow. I don’t want to see you on the “pretty girl lost channel” i.e. fox news.

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One Response to Internet Dating or All I Want Is Someone Who “likes to walk on the beach”.

  1. Tony Roma says:

    ok, I am a little embarrassed that I know this but it is “Manolo Blahnick” and Christian Louboutin, from my Sex in the City Days.

    Comment 2 – this is too practical, what we really want is the IDEA of a beautiful mate, that’s why I like all the fake photos (I have verified this) So my idea is to create a better fake site for men where the women always reply but you never meet them, oh wait I think that already exists 😉

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